Worry Paralysis

I have lots of ideas for topics on this blog. Some I start writing and intend to complete, but things happen during and after the initial writing that put obstacles in my way.

One problem is I get even more ideas as I write, sometimes wandering off on those tangents and having to cut and paste them into a new draft for yet another blog post. If I don’t want to read a 10,000 word blog post that I wrote, no one else will.

Which leads me to The Judge (aka the devil on my shoulder). She’s the one that tells me no one wants to read 10k of my words. She also tells me no one wants to read 1k of my words. Or 500. Or 100. Or even a tweet. She tells me my topics are stupid, that I write poorly, that the subject has been covered a gazillion times. Then she might snort in disdain or yawn in boredom, and I leave yet another draft in my list of blog posts.

The Judge is the personification of all the imagined readers who hate what I do. I’ve fought this all my life, whether it’s about writing, what I wear, how I talk. I might gain ground, like a few months ago, then backslide and worry what people think. Hence the title – Worry Paralysis. I stew in this imagined world of rejection and do nothing.

This post is me reminding myself it doesn’t matter what people think. I am challenging my worries by not making sure I have all the elements in place to make this just right. No picture, no links, no grammar check, no review, no tags. Most of the time, people don’t notice or don’t care. If they do and don’t like it, this isn’t for them.

My memory is garbage anymore, so I can’t remember if I heard this in a lecture or during a personal conversation. Some people don’t like me, and won’t ever, so don’t waste time trying to change that! In this case, I need to stop wasting my time stuck in worry paralysis because of the people that will never like what I do.

That certain persons simply will not like you no matter what you do.

–David Foster Wallace

Worry paralysis ruined my blog schedule, tangled up my words in a giant snarl, and clogged my writing life. Enough of that. I’ll be back next week with something. It might not be good, but it will be there.

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